What a day, got lots done but, man I tried to have a nap and then during the nap I was hit hard with I am unsure but might be nightmares I cant remember. All I know is I wake up with a soaked bed, yeah not just the blankets or the sheets but the mattress and pillows are soaked to a point I can ring out water/sweat. My heart feels weak like I ran a marathon and I am waking up so soaked that I leave footprints. So shower then I came here to talk about it, I don’t really talk about the problems with others in real life so, sorry for the burden.

Just hate it with a passion and when I wake up I am messes up from a short time to a day or two. With the day kinda being reset I am up for a while now and i still want to recover. A weird thing is my heart feels weak and I am not really clear minded. It like a fog of war is over everything I once knew, I still know that I know it but I need time to figure it out again. Like looking at a problem, knowing you faced it before, just can’t remember how you solved it, you have to relearn something you already know is very frustrating and really does put cracks in ones ability to function enough to be ok.

Just really sucks when you have tried for so long to be better then you once were then your body just breaks down. Even though I am not that old I feel very useless when I have a hard time walking or even breathing becomes a bit laboured. Just hard to pull through I guess.

I am off to make a coffee and try to get some recordings done and break this major weakness.

Much love

Your friendly ginger from the woods