Man, what a day, just a day where I have to push through it and then I just gave into it and went to bed. Then now I am up and cannot sleep, so you must suffer. The night always begins with a hard day of thought, just getting worn out on the human part I think. Like I have given everything and nothing has changed and I am having a hard time when I have tried to make the change for others. Yet it seems like its all pointless to try and fight when your the only one not willing to sell out.

Now this comes in many forms and some may sound like just lazyness but I cant see it that way, a boredom of things you have gotten out of desires in the moment or the comments in life make you go this route to make it seem like you have done the right thing. Much like owning pets, I have become sickened with pet owners and people who say they care for things that are part of this life they have. I hate the fact that when I am having a rough day here, things are just thrown to the wayside and forgotten. From taking care of animals to doing things that are required for the next day or even just activly partaking in the home they say needs work done to it. I have grown so tired of this and become stagnate to the ideas of interacting with humans directly.

Evermore the daily tasks are not being done today, the only thing I plan on taking care of is the animals. The rest can just be forgotten about. I am not enthused to exist today. I am just going to hang out with Antares and have a day to myself. Might even just work on this and try to get the thoughts out and hope to fight off these demons of truth, I have to say too that listening is not just for your ears. they are for the things around you even though they may not make a sound. Humans often become obsorbed by the ideals of new technology a list of things to be loved is gone. Plants we bring inside and the things and objects we promise to take care of slowly become a various dead things we never to think about again.

I may be a caustic existence at least I am trying to be a honest caustic existence. To learn and become smarter in the existence of humanity and development of self. I am also looking for a way to be better but how do we become better when we are brought to adulthood with a ideal that items and sexual conquest is happiness then when we become full filled with the former we have no guidence into the world beyond that. How do we love others when they choose a life under diffrent religious means. We dont, we as a species have become aheared to the concept to change their ideals to ours. Yet has anyone ever asked if they were wrong about their god. Nope they shove those ideals into the back of the mind and rais arms to make others change. Our western culture is the right path, we have developed the best social ideal ever. Who decided that, you, goverment, ideals, or is it a hollow notion that we have as thats all we have been told and to question it is herasy.

Do I fall into a systematic belief that the things out east are correct. Nope, to be honest I think humanity has run its course and has over stayed our experation date. We no longer see any reason for global allience and becoming a better species. We are seemingly bound to a religious capitalisem for the world. Now I call it religious as we are starting to convert our goverment leaders from human to a deity of sorts. A terrible concept and events to have this happen over a short time.

So with all that I have become a very spiteful and granualted personality.

Untill later and maybe less spitfull

Much Love

Your Friendly Ginger From The Woods.

Writing this as a update and notions. I will do another post later but I do apologize for the ramblings. I do feel like I failed as a human, failed but found things that need work.

I am wrong in alot of ways in this one.

Much Love.