“Tarnished with the dirt i have crawled through, my heart still beats with vengeful rhythm. A thousand and one years has passed, I shall never know peace as long as i keep my heart encrusted with the dirt of my travels.” forgiveness is not for the ones who hurt you, its so you can let go and find peace.

I have had a very odd day, in a good way I think. Listing to the slow rythimic tones of my lowfi music, monocrims of my life have become to encase my mind. I have had always the hard time fight off the bad memories. The moments in my life where i have broken the hearts and minds of the ones who once loved me. To be reminded of the repitwar of memories of people scorning me with words that hold more weight then the hopes of humanity. Dawning on me is the life i now know that is not just good but whole. I have found friends onlune who hve come here to read my words. Senceless or not they hold my being within them. To be bound to this creation of life my being is starting to find peace in the awareness of my soul. I dont wish to speak in terms of religious values or the concepts of god. Just that i have a feelsing in my form that is beyond just the known. When i listen to the rythe,s that help my being, it gives me the sense of sorrow the world has shed with each of their tears, a cracking in the stone face revels a sorrowed smile know the greatnesss of the pease they will all fin when the rain of their sould comes to a end.

I think i am a man of devotion to a being that lives within the earth, not aome magical notion of mother earth but to know that my being is a corospondence of all the elements within the planet and without it. I could not exist. Mothers would not be gifted with a womb to carry children. Men of nations would not exist to help keep families safe from the dripping talons of the darkness. non of that is a posiblilty without the organic and inorganic ball we call home. I dont know if such a thing has a being inside it, beyond our understanding or not i fall into her bussom with love and hope I dont hurt her anymore then my fellow beings already have have.

Having the notion and thought while i sit here pondering, i think one of the fears i have. A human fear inside, something that is burning always but never truly intensify. I would give you a better way to understand it but is a deep set feeling i have to understand. As the night clls to be the syn i have not found yet the meaning of life. Is it that we are to be the best we can be, or is it to be the singular one who fixes all the worlds issues. Are we more then what we are born as. A creature of though and fear. more then what we were but not as much as we need to be. Its a weird question and i hope one day to understand it. I am debating on making a tea and just relaxing to some lofi while i listen to sin and sass. A good channel and one where io hae found many people who have helped me get through the worst at times.

I have grown hungry again and waiting for the wood stove to heat up is taking a bit. It has been a few days since i had the wood stove inside going so its taking a little bit to warm up. I hope one day that things i do help the world. I dont want to be a rich man in money, i want to be rich in memories of the ones who have found some solice in my words. I hope i found you in your time of need an d not in your time of plenty. for I wnat to help the ones who are seeking but a small validation that their lives meant something. like myself.

I come to you with a heart that does not know how to love, a mind who lives in fear, a sould who feel the cold ice. I am a simple man, one of few spoken words but many thoughts. A fool and a scholar, and broken man and a god of few. I just ask that you begin to understand that being human, well that is a question we all have until our last breath.

forever lovingingly yours

Your Friendly Ginger From The Woods.