Good Morning…….. I apologise for yesterday.

Well yesterday was the first time, i faced my deomon in me since i started this blog. Not literaral but might as well be. /I has a quick rest yesterday and woke up in a hatefull, raging, spitefull and cant jconcieve the value of life. This sounds horrivble and it is, it is who the dark side of me is.

This is not who I am but what i am, very broken. I wish to explain it all here as its hard to remember the being i was a short time after i recover. Everything good died in me, everything. Humans are not safe around me at this point. Life has no value to me, i cannot perseive the pain of others. Death is a concenquesnce of being in my presence it seems. I hate it and that hate feeds the darkness. In the point of this being is that i no linger have a concious at all. Qtip is my angle and saves me from this place all the time. just by doing nothing but existing on my lap as my closed eyes fight the creature inside me. I wish I could give you all a better understanding. It changes everything about who i am. Bloodlust and spitefull truth is my verbiage, pain is the answer to anthing you ask, lust for the screams of understanding the cost, jsut a absolute creature of pain and death.

Let this be know that this post is not saying this is the end, but the begining of me telling the darketst parts of me no one knows about. To share my darkest side so i can feel somewhat human agian. That s the tragity of knowing what you are, not who you are.

Again Forever in regrets of my being.

Your Friendly Ginger From The Woods.

2 responses to “Good Morning…….. I apologise for yesterday.”

  1. notthe Avatar
    notthe

    Reading your posts puts me in the frame of mind of sitting down with an old friend over a cup of tea (although I’m not a tea drinker, this seems the best description).

    My only frame of reference for your frustration is what feels like a similar place I dwelt 20-ish years ago. I make the comparison not as a form of competition (sometimes masto feels like a place of “oh, I have it worse than you do” back-and-forths) but so that perhaps you will feel not so alone there.

    Reading your posts teaches me so much about myself, both at that time and in my current place, so please know your frustrations, although they feel hateful, are generating good in a place on the other side of the woods.

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    1. Gingeroc Avatar
      Gingeroc

      I want to say thank you, the written words are a spot of diamonds for me. I have a hard time and someimes simple words of understanding are more powerful then the big bang. Thank you And for that your hopes and dreams are important and i do hope you acheive them all.

      Thank you

      Ginger

      Liked by 1 person

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